bed time, little things, feelings

Alright. This is  about to get deep. Warning you.

Little things always get over looked.. Small things that you do before going to bed, What you do when you are getting ready for the day, trying something new for the very first  time... Least of all Feelings.

I always overlook the little things, at least I think I do; maybe I don't otherwise I wouldn't be typing this right now.
I forgot what it was like to wash my face, brush my teeth, and wash my toes in the tub before I went to bed. I forgot because I would go to my room and lay on my bed, check instagram, facebook, text, and go back to insta. Later, I would find myself falling asleep in my leggings and t-shirt with the light on and just laying on my bed; eventually I would wander into the bathroom and brush my teeth and mybe my face if I felt up to it.  Ugh. No wonder I didnt feel like I was getting a good nights sleep.
Im making it a goal that no Facebook, and insta after I'm in my bed. I want that to be the place I go to relax and dewindle.
 Ever think of the first time you  did someting? Ever think its the last first time you get to experiance it? I don't realize it until after. My first kiss? Elementry, 6th grade, under a big tree on the play ground. First time I got my stupid period? I wont go there. First time my brother suprised us from the military. BEST suprise ever. The first time I was loved and loved in return. That one is hard to put a time on because do I count the time I loved, or when we said I love you...or our fights and I just waited for your next text. Idk how to calculate that because I didnt choose to love, it grew slowly then all at once. It is amazing. Something I am so glad I got to experience. Love. ok. Time for me to get my head out of the clouds. Back to buisness. Serious buisness. First time I gave a facial, it was AMAZING. I knew that is where I belonged.  I have many firsts of which I remember but to many to list. You know the best thing though? Is that I have MANY more firsts to come and I am SOOO excited.
I am greatful I have the ability to experience feelings; happiness, sadness, excitment,greed,disapointment, love,hope. everything. Without one you do not have the other. I read somewhere " Ther is no such thing as darkness; Just the lack of light." I am a strong believer that you need a bottom to have a top. Do you know how boring it would be to just go through the motions of living?  Just to Exsist?  It would be devistating. however;you wouldnt feel devistated, just there.

this is what I think about.
xo mellisa

you're wierd, you're unique, you're a dork.

Things that hit me the hardest are things that I used to love and people who I still do. I was reading old e-mails, old texts that would remind me how much I loved someone; I find myself wondering if you read my blogs, remember me or even love me. I read that you would never stop loving me and that you would never forget me. Truth is; I'm scared and I can't get you off my mind.

Xxo Leeser

Stay golden.

To who ever you're missing.

It's funny how much you can miss someone.

 How much you realize you depended on them or even how much they  made you happy until their gone.

Maybe not forever but for a while.

It hurts' and it stings.

 It will for a while until you can smile and look back without crying and smile remembering that they will come back. 

 One day and then you will show them just how much you missed them; you might just have to wait and be patient.

 

 

xoxo Mel.

 

Stay Golden.

 &

Be Amazing.

New places

Usually moving new places is hard.

Lets' be honest.

ONe: you have to make new friends.

TWo: you need a Job

THREe: Making new friends is hard

FOUr: You kinda have to like the place.

 

Well ladies and gentle men;

 I have done all of the above! It may have taken all summer, but I have Accomplished it and it makes me pretty happy.

Making new friends can be tricky especially if you are a senior in high school, but its not impossible.

In fact, the word itself says " I'm Possible" coincidence?

 I think not.

 Anyway..

If you can make at least one new friend the day you start you are off in the right direction :)

All you have to do is be happy and enjoy the experience instead of dreading it; Because think about it, if you're going to go into a new place, chances are people aren't going to make the first move, but if you make the first move to talk to someone they must just think..... " hey, this girls pretty cool...." then BAM new friend.

I went into it thinking this way, not really worried about the people who already have their groups of friends because from the first day I decided that this year is going to be awesome.

Because I believe  I'm going to be awesome.

hehe

So far I love where I am.

I love my school...

I love my friends...

I love put up with my job....

plus I'm loving my house.

because for once it's starting to feel like a home again.

WoooHooo!

 

anyway.

 

Leeser.

 

Stay Golden  xxo

 



Hello!

Well. Hello there.

My life is a twisting, twirling, upsidedown-going, rollarcoaster.

I'de say it's a mess, but lets be honest; rollarcoasters are funner and much much more stressful.

These past few months are a blur.

I'm my own superhero and I'm in the process of becoming Simply amazing.

My life is going to be how I want it to be, even if it turns out difforent then I plan it.

  Go ahead figure that one out.

My  20  year plan is to be Awsome. That's all. To be Awsome.

Why? Because that much is in my control.

I do want to go to collage but I have no idea what for.

I want a relationship. But I'm in  no hurry

I want to be happy and I'm headed in the right direction. I am Happy.

Be happy with me.

& stay golden.

The True meaning of Christmas.

I never believed that there were people out there that gave.

All the stories online about how someone payed for their groceries or left them money... I didnt believe that people did that even though it was written right in front of me. I just thought... that would never happen...

But it did. To my family.

This year has been extremely difficult on my family we have been tight on money for the past two years. We lost our car. We've been to the point where there is barely anything in our refrigerator. My mom went to the doctor and after an MRI she had two small tumors on her skull.

 

During all of this I was being bullied. Not the way you would think but i was just feeling so down about myself that when someone would joke something I would take it seriously, when a teacher would just put aside what i said ; I'd be hurt. I went into this mode where I didn't care what people thought about me. But i didn't want to be home. I wanted to be anywhere but home.

But I have two amazing best friends, with out them I don't know where i would be.

 Yesterday December 23, 2012  I walked past my front door and I saw the corner of an envelope... I picked it up and there inside of it was one-hundred dollars.  I was speechless. I showed my parents and they had no idea what to say.... well my dads first words were " what the hell.... " then he didn't say anything...  he asked me if i knew who had sent it but I told him I didn't, even though I had an idea...

I have amazing best friends.

Who ever sent this money is amazing. One day i wish that i could be as amazing as this person.

Stay Golden.

xxo Leeser. Merry Christmas.

Turn Your Can'ts into Cans' and Your Dreams into Plans.

There is never a reason not to do something amazing.

 If you have a dream, reach for it. Why?  because you dreamt it hadn't you?

 No matter how much it may cost, No matter how long it may take; Reach for it.

You deserve it.

 Your life may be feeling out of control, You may have lost someone, you may have nothing in your refrigerator to eat, you may have bills to pay that seem to never go away. Your parents may be fighting, your home may be hectic.  

There's hope. I promise things get better. There is ALWAYS a way to overcome these problems. Always remember that there are people out there that have it harder. There are people that are homeless, starving, or drug attics.

you deserve every little thing you set your mind to. You just need to work for it.

I'm planning on going to college to have a career.

I have dreams. I want to be successful. I want to be happy.

Why?

Because I deserve it.

And No-one can stop me.

Because I want my respect. Oh, and any shoes I set my eyes on ;)

Stay.golden

Always Stay True to Yourself

I love how I'm starting to know who I am.

Well I always have known but the lines are getting clear.

I know the people that I like and the people that I don't.

I try my best to stay mature and to think positive thoughts. I know my limits and how far I will go to get what I want. I know what I have Tolerance for and what I don't. I don't do drugs and I don't drink.

I Think that's a good start. Don't you?

I'm almost 17 and  for one I can say I don't care to try either of those right now. Because I am  better then that.

 I have learned that no matter how hard life gets drinking is not the answer and even as low as it may get drugs aren't either.

That's the last thing i need.

To not be in control of my body.

I want to be the best person that I can be and if people don't like that then they don't like it.

They can do what they want and I'll do what i want. It's always been like that.

I don't like what people do then.... well...  its whatever.

I have a friend who I thought was awesome. I thought that she was TOTALLY different then all my other friends ( which she is)  and i thought that we could be best friends...  But. As I watched her, I learned that I didn't want to be anything like her. I noticed that I am who I am for a reason; and that people will like me for who i am. I don't need to change, not for anyone, not for any boy just so they will like me. I have made the friends that I have because I am being me. The friends that I have made because I wasn't myself; well those " friends"  haven't stayed around. I am tired of being someone elles just to please other people when I'm the one that's not happy.  To me that's the most important thing. To be happy with myself.

I like to watch people, not in the creeper way but when I'm just by myself i notice how people act and how they talk to others. I notice how some girls have dirty mouths and they talk about them selfs how they think things are completely ridiculous or something and I'm there thinking if i were a guy...  just wow. haha

I don't really swear. every once in a while  but it's not me to be swearing every other word. I have a bigger vocab then that ;)

Don't down grade yourselves ladies.

Remember to Stay True. & Stay.Golden.

Be a good person.

Breath.

Take a Piece of paper and write three things that you love about yourself. then on the other side two that you would like to change.

Every Night when you go to bed read that paper; it will remind you what you love every night and clear up any negative thoughts in your mind. Read the list in the Morning so that you don't forget. The two things that you want to change will slowly yet surely change over time as you work on them daily.

Don't take things to seriously.

Lately I have become a very serious person. Not that there is anything wrong with that; but remember to let your hair down every once in a while. Remember to laugh when you need to and smile. It's amazing what a smile can do. It may just change your whole day.

Be nice.

It's really easy just to give in like other people and to judge.

Don't do it; Don't give in to being rude.

you NEVER know what people are going through in their lives. So the least we can do is be nice. Being rude and mean doesn't make you a better person. Be nice. That is how you make friends and that is how  people will come up to you. Because if you look mean.... well.... people get intimidating.

 One thing  I like to do is write inspiring quotes on Post-it note and stick them up on my wall. I like to read them when ever I'm having a bad day. { and their fun to write ;) }

 Also, On my ipod I have MORE inspirational quotes that I find every once in a while... I also made another list of things that I love about my self. (:

Stay Golden.

Stupid boys

Boys wonder why girls fall over and over for the same guys.

The jerks. The losers. The good for nothing.

yet girls are only looking for their special one. The one that cares and wants to be with them day after day, but no matter what those stupid boys do, they make smart girls stupid. They make us smile when we want to cry. They make us laugh when we want to yell. They make us miss them when we KNOW that they are going to stand us up again. We think that we can change them; that they " wont do that again,"  that maybe, just maybe they will call. Maybe they will show up at your door just because they miss you.

 Those boys... Who stand you up. that don't call you. Who you think you are absolutely crazy about.

are simply not mature enough as we are looking for; and they arnt going to change for a girl. They arnt worth us breaking our heart for.

Boys who are interested will call, they will come up to you instead of you going up to them. When a boy likes you he will show you that he wants to be there. You shouldn't have to do most of the work when  their only doing a fraction. They wont play games, they wont hurt you on purpose.

   I used to believe that unless you are going to love someone love them with your whole heart; but I learned that only gets your heart broken when they don't show that they like you as much as you like them.

Relationships grow with time, its not just going to be amazing the first week, the first month. You will have your fights. your disagreements, they will make you angry doing stupid things but that's no reason to break up with them. When you fall in love you do it slowly, you probably wont realize it at the time until it is to late. Cupid has already shot his arrow and it had landed in your heart along with his. He will be your best friend.

Stay Golden.

but then again what do I know about relationships? :)

Music.Sitting next to a boy.

Being a teenager is hard some days...
But there is one thing in common about every one of us. We L-O-V-E music.
We love to blast it in our cars. I love the rush :)
when I'm cleaning my room I blast some hip-hop or anything with a beat.
When I take bubble baths I relax to some Jack Johnson
In the morning I love Country, because I for one   don't like to be listening to who's doin who at 6 am.

But this song came on this morning. Wake me up by Rascal Flatts.
At first I didn't know what song it was, until I began listening to the lyrics.
Yeah. It reminded me of someone.
And I sat there listening knowing what it was saying.
Why they wanted me to listen to it.

There are so many songs that when I hear them, I hear This person singing to me. Only one person sang to me and they put their heart into it.

But there are songs; songs that i cant bare to listen to anymore because they bring back memories. good and the bad.

then,

then there are the songs that i enjoy listening to because I remember how much i loved them.

When I'm alone I love to dance. I love to sing.
I love sitting next to a boy who is lost in music.

Mann do i love sitting next to a boy.

Stay golden.

Braeden.

This kids so great..

Cant you tell? Im typing an ENTIRE blog just about him!!!

This is Braeden ( but i call him brae brae ;)

Hi, how are ya'

Well where do i start....

Braeden has always been there for me.. 

Hes brought me Micky Ds ... a Happy Meal on a bad day.

okay that was a great day! I was down in the dumps and i would always tease " man i need a happy meal" and next thing i know Braeden texts me askin if i need a happy meal.. and He RAN to micky ds and came to my house with one!! best day in the world.

I dont know anyone who would ever do that..

He has takin me to homecoming...

he has takin me to Air borne

he has takin me to the movies

he comes to my house randomly..

He has taken me to LAGOON!!
won me a cat and made me cry... okay he didnt make me cry... the rocket made me cry.

which he made me go on... sooo.... accually i feel really bad that he had to go through that...

The good and the ugly? yup.

and this is what we do in animal science.

 

xxo Leeser

 

Stay Golden

I like to play with my hair... but what girl doesn't?

I just did this for the heck of it after I watched a few tutorials. I think I had a dance coming up but who knows...

 The back is really pretty. Really big elegant bun.

( my hair was long when I did this but im sure any length would work )

Here are the lovely side views and ladies I'm sure you can see how I did this.

their just simple twists. all around my head and bobby pinned to a pony.

Sadly I had to use a couple bobby pins...

Now this hair style...

I can proudly say I came up with this on my own..

yes, i had inspiration... but I changed it so that i could do this twice.

I wanted to wear this to homecoming But Iended up doing my hair a little different

I teased the crap out of my hair....

then...  I did  this twisty thing from the nape of my neck up to about the middle of my head

Leaving the hair that I teased and the pieces that i braided out.

I then twisted and pinned into place

P.S my hair is about my shoulders here. :) sorry that i don't have a picture showing the front view

xxo Leeser

Remember, Stay Golden



watercolor nails

Look at these babies. just look at em.

So I woke up and I wanted to paint my nails and I had an idea of what I wanted to do... 

I usually have an idea you see, and my ideas usually don't work out;

 but HEY trial and error baby trial and error.

I wanted to do them ombre style... (when each nail is a shade different then the next )

And so I went on my way... mixing my nail polish with white... then I'de put it on my nail...

 ugh. I was getting frustrated. extremely frustrated.

so I took all my polish off...

and I was thinking of what else I wanted to try...

so I remembered that I saw a picture on pinterest of watercolor nails... or tye-dye nails...

why yes...

I decided to try it.

and man was it easy and did I get the effect the VERY FIRST TIME?

the answer is yes... yes I did.

 I started messing with my camera and so I have a few fun pictures as you can see...

... I took 72 just of my nails...

...

but I wont bore you with 72 pictures ;)

See how pretty they turned out to be?

( please excuse the messy edges ;) )

such an easy thing to do.

The colors i used were

O.P.I done out in deco, Sinful Colors i don't know the name because the sticker fell off...

N.Y.C skin tight denim ( not pictured)  Pure Ice, Rock star ( white). (not pictures)

..... i saw this dog....

I Just had to take a picture of him...

xoxo Leeser

Something to live by

People will try to change who you are.
For reasons that only they can explain.

Boys will try to change girls so they can get what they want.

Girls will try to change boys For the better thinking that they will change.

why do we need to change? 

Because we want to fit in. 

Because society thinks every body should be the same.

Because we want other people to belive we are difforent but the same as everyone eles

We are unique for a reason.

We are unique to learn

We are unique because we are ourselfs

People are like snowflakes; no two are the same, ever.

So why change it?

why should we change who we are?

why not love yourself because you are unique.

Ask Yourself.